


A Little Negan in Need

by BWolf_20



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Adult baby, Baby like Negan, Daddy Rick Grimes, Diapers, Gen, Headspace, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Negan feels, Negan is a little, Non-Sexual Age Play, Prisoner of War, Protective Rick Grimes, adorable Negan, found out, little-verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28511373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BWolf_20/pseuds/BWolf_20
Summary: Rick has established something of a routine for Negan whenever he becomes little, but he knows it can't last as long as it's a secret. Meanwhile, as a little, Negan finds he's in need of more than a caretaker. He's in need of a new daddy. Will Rick be able to fill that spot for him? (sequel to Little Negan)
Relationships: Negan & Gabriel Stokes, Rick Grimes & Negan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to my first Little Negan fic. I recommend reading it first, it's just a oneshot. Link https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844333  
> I did like the idea of doing a little bit more than a oneshot with the story, so I finally decided to write a short follow-up.  
> I did miss baby Negan :)

Negan woke up to the feeling of his thumb in his mouth and the sight of wooden bars before his eyes. He curled up under the blanket while he registered the playroom he was in. His playroom. The one that Rick had created for him. As he thought of the man then he felt compelled to be big again. He usually was big when he woke, but right now he felt more comfortable in his little headspace.

He sucked harder on his thumb and turned his attention to his bear Storm who had fallen on his side sometime during the night. Negan grabbed him and cuddled him close as he observed the room that was still foreign to him. What was once a plain and fairly large extra bedroom, was now fit for a baby with toddler toys here and there. There was a dresser filled with his baby clothes, with a box of adult sized diapers nearby. Just waking up in this room made him want to stay as he was, yet at the same time there was a loneliness about it. This wasn’t like his room at the Sanctuary. His room at the Sanctuary was a plain big person’s room, but that hadn’t mattered much because he at least had his daddy. Here, he didn’t have a daddy, and that in turn brought tears forming in his eyes.

He cuddled his bear closer and clamped down on his thumb. He shouldn’t be crying now, especially when the morning called for him to be big. Then he reminded himself that he didn’t really have to be. He didn’t have people he was supposed to be in charge of anymore, and that gave him some minor comfort. It was the loss of his dark haired, mustached daddy that had the tears flowing. 

The door opened slowly, and through teary eyes Negan saw Rick peek his head in. His brow was furrowed in concern as he entered.

“What’s wrong little one?” he asked gently. He barely hesitated before dropping his hand down on his head. “Did you have a nightmare?”

With his thumb still in his mouth he shook his head. 

“It’s alright, it’s alright.”

Negan rolled his eyes up to his gentle face. His daddy hadn’t always had that gentle look about him, but he had been good and there for him when he slipped. He wouldn’t count the few times his daddy appeared annoyed to be a daddy at the moment of a slip.

Negan raised himself up and popped the thumb out of his mouth. He wiped his eyes sloppily and released his bear. 

“Are you hungry?”

“Don wanna.”

“Don’t want to eat, okay.”

“Don wanna…don wanna…be big.” Fat tears started rolling down his cheeks out of fear that Rick would need him to be right this minute. Afterall, his old daddy wasn’t shy about asking strongly for him to grow up during those few moments when he wasn’t in the mood to be his daddy.

Rick raised a brow, taken aback by the words. Then his face softened into a smile.

“No one’s asking you to,” he said softly. “You’re big enough for the moment.”

Negan gave a little hiccup as he looked at him again. This man wasn’t his daddy, but so far he’d been acting like one, and he wasn’t upset with him. His stomach twisted nervously at the idea of considering him as a new daddy, but, that seemed a little too hard to work out. Besides that, he wasn’t sure if Rick would like that. Maybe a nice bottle of warm milk would help him feel better.

“bah-dle,” he muttered with a dropped head and a sad little sniffle.

“I can do that for you. Do you wanna come out of there?”

His first response was to shake his head, then it was to nod. Rick moved toward the adult crib’s latches and released them so the front would slide down. He then offered his hand to Negan who was slow to take it. Negan hooked onto his bear before dropping his feet over the edge of the crib. He worked himself to his feet and allowed Rick to lead him by the hand. Halfway across the room Negan got cold feet and came to a stop. He pulled his hand away and plopped onto a colorful mat that decorated the floor. He didn’t want to go out there afterall. He sniffled and rubbed at his eyes as a shot of fear rolled through him at the idea of leaving he room. 

“Do you want me to bring your bottle to you?”

He nodded quietly.

“Alright. Sit tight. I’ll be right back with it.”

Negan cuddled his bear closer as he folded his legs into a pretzel on the mat. He lifted his eyes to watch Rick leave. He hadn’t had a ton of time with him, but the kindness came through. It was relieving and a nice change from feeling stress and anger at the man. But he felt none of those things as he was currently.

When Rick returned with the bottle in hand, Negan eagerly reached out for it. With a light chuckle, Rick let him take it and stood aside as Negan abandoned his thumb in favor of the rich milk. He suckled on it greedily and became more at ease as the warm liquid began easing his momentary sadness. He turned to look at Rick while sucking on his bottle. Could he really ask him to be his new daddy? His old daddy wasn’t coming back, and he didn’t want to be alone. 

A few tears threatened to spill at the idea that Rick might reject him. He was semi aware that he didn’t like him big, but if that was really the case, why would he give him this nice room with toys and a nice bed to sleep in? Why would he look after him at all?

His eyes became less hazy after that, and soon enough he was dropping an emptied bottle to the floor. Rick eyed him curiously and was about to speak, but closed his mouth as the realization dawned on him.  
Negan narrowed his eyes before dropping his head.

“I want to go back to my cell,” he demanded in a quiet and very adult voice.

“Okay,” Rick said softly. “Let’s get you changed first.”

Negan had to agree as he very well couldn’t go back while in his sailboat onesie.

Now changed in the dull gray clothing that had become his uniform, Negan ran his hand over his brow as a feeling of tiredness rolled through his bones. He released a sigh before casting his gaze down the hall where the playroom stood. That room that Rick had created was too much. If anything it was a contributor for a prolonged stay in his headspace. But his jailer had insisted that it was healthy to have. And when he wasn’t spending time in diapers around Rick, much to his embarrassment, he was in his cell.

He heard Rick approach as well as the jingle of cuffs. Negan raised his head and his eyes landed on them in the man’s hand. Rick’s expression didn’t show relief at the idea of locking him out of sight and out of his hair. He looked conflicted and bothered, just as he had ever since they started this new routine.

Negan got to his feet and held out his wrists for the cuffs.

“Why the sour face all the time prick? You ought to be glad you don’t have to play papa to me.” The joke soured when his own joke reminded him that he was considering Rick as a potential new daddy. He gritted his teeth at the thought. No one was replacing Simon, let alone his own warden. Rick was still the bastard enemy that had refused to follow his rules and killed many of his people.

“We really can’t keep doing this,” Rick stated as he slapped them on. 

“I told you the playroom was a shit idea. I didn’t have that shit at the Sanctuary and I sure as shit don’t need it here, especially when I’m barely there for it.”

“It’s healthy for littles like you. What I’m talking about is carting you out of your cell every time you fall into your headspace.” Negan felt his cheeks flush and he looked away. “Sooner or later you’re gonna get caught, and I don’t expect people to keep believing that I’ve turned you into a worker so you can do some work in my house.”

“Have you told anyone?” Negan growled warningly. 

Rick appeared hesitant to speak.

“Michonne.” Negan was about to rail, but Rick held up a hand. “Being that she lives under this roof with me and doesn’t buy bullshit, there’s no way I couldn’t be honest with her about you.”

He saw the point in that, but still he was peeved.

“No one else?” he managed to ask in an aggravated tone.

“No one else.”

Rick led him over to the door while Negan thought on that tidbit of information. He almost wanted to ask why he never saw Michonne when he was in their home, but he felt he knew the answer to that already.

“Surprised you got her permission to build a psychopath a fun space in your house. Sure a divorce isn’t coming anytime soon?”

The way Rick’s shoulders tensed up delighted Negan. He still very much liked to push people’s buttons, particularly in light of his secret being partially out.

“She’s sympathetic to your plight believe it or not. But, it’s like I said, this cover up can’t go on. We’re gonna have to figure something out.”

Once they stepped outside, Rick maneuvered behind him, forcing Negan to lead the way back to the cell. As they moved, Negan caught the dirty looks of some of the passerby. If they ever knew about his other side, he wasn’t sure he could live it down. The something that needed to change was himself. He needed to push his little side down more. He didn’t need to be coddled, and most importantly he didn’t need a daddy.

“Worry about your own damn people prick. I don’t need your goddamn help.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Not in the mood for this Gabey baby.”

He shifted so he was clearly giving Gabriel a cold shoulder. The man didn’t take the hint as he only settled further in the chair and pulled out a book. Negan huffed in annoyance at yet another attempt from the priest to reach out to him. It still baffled him, especially when he’d been close to killing him on the battlefield. Gabriel shouldn’t want to help him, but Negan reckoned it was down to the fact that he was a priest after all, and it was in him to reach out and forgive even the worst people.

“Well, you can try whenever you are in the mood. I hope since our last session you’ve been giving meditation a shot.”

Negan released an annoyed sigh. In truth, he had briefly thought that meditation might be the answer to helping in suppressing his little side, but it had been difficult for him to let go and relax well enough. Usually relaxing too much threatened to bring a snippet of his littleness through which he didn’t want.

“Fuck meditation, and fuck you while we’re at it.”

Gabriel just kept a calm smile on his face before dropping his gaze to his book.

“I’ve been thinking that maybe we can change it up today. Maybe we could just talk.”

“About what?”

“Anything. Anything that’s on your mind.”

“What are you, Oprah?” Negan sneered. “If you’re looking for some touchy feely talk, you’ve got the wrong damn person. You forget who I am?”

“I confess I don’t really know who you are.” He leaned forward in his chair as he eyed Negan curiously. “But I can’t help feeling you weren’t always this way. Before the world fell apart, you were married, to an angel as you’ve said. That makes me believe you must have been a good man, that is if an angel agreed to marry you.”

Negan shifted uncomfortably as Lucille came to mind. A memory of them slow dancing came next. He blinked his eyes as wetness threatened to slip over. Thinking about Lucille didn’t get him very emotional anymore. It was only if his little self was on the verge of entering the picture. And from there the memory shifted into one where he had slipped. He had raised his big eyes up at her, and she smiled as she slowly dropped down next to a man that wasn’t currently her husband at the moment, but a baby. Her warm hand ran gently over his cheek.

_“Hey little man. You look like you’re in the mood to play.”_

_He nodded eagerly._

_“Okay.” She took his hand and led him to a hidden playroom she had set up for him._

He had almost forgotten about that playroom of hers. It was nice and comforting, and secret so no one would ever discover it, because she understood he didn’t want to be outed to family and friends. He swallowed hard as he saw more of the memory.

_Lucille let him cradle himself across her lap while she sat on their bed. He lazily sucked on his pacy as she read from a storybook filled with nice colorful pictures._

_“And so the baby bear said, ‘Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, and they’re still in it’.”_

_Negan gave a little giggle behind his pacy._

_“You think that’s funny do you,” she teased before tickling him senseless._

Tears were springing to his eyes now, and he was barely aware that he was sinking down onto his cot.

“Something wrong?” Gabriel questioned, but Negan didn’t hear him. 

Right now he was seeing and feeling Lucille drop a kiss down onto his forehead. He had never really considered her a mommy to him. Being that they were married, he didn’t believe there should have been any additional changes to their lifestyle since she’d learned he was a little. He had always wanted to ignore that side of himself as best he could, yet his wife had been so accepting of it and willing to help in any way she could. If he had a regret in concerns to his little side, it was not letting his wife do more for that side of him. He wanted limits, and so that meant their playroom hadn’t lasted. He converted it into a man cave around the time Lucille became sick. He couldn’t afford to indulge his littleness, especially when his wife needed him so. That side of himself needed to shut up.

But it wasn’t shutting up now. The sobs escaped him and he clung to the sheet on his cot. 

“Mommy,” he sobbed quietly. Why hadn’t she ever been mommy? He didn’t understand. What he did understand was that she was not here, and neither was his daddy.

Gabriel got to his feet, book tumbling to the floor, as his brow furrowed in concern. Negan wasn’t aware as his sobs started to become stronger. Gabriel racked his eyes over his shaky form and considered the way he clung to the sheet, like a child. He wanted to deny what he was seeing even though it was being displayed right in front of him.

“You’re a, little,” he whispered to himself. 

He stepped back then, as his first thought was to not believe it. But he quickly recalled the fact that he hadn’t believed Negan to always be the monster he’d portrayed himself as when it came to the Saviors. He really believed that the changed world was responsible for his dark change. Even though he couldn’t prove it without knowing from Negan himself, that didn’t really seem to matter right now, because right now he didn’t have a stubborn murderer in front of him. He had a small child. 

He walked up to the cell bars and crouched down. He put up a warm smile before addressing him. 

“Negan,” he started softly. “It’s okay little guy. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Negan stopped his sobbing just long enough to eye Gabriel with curiosity. Then he gasped and scooted far into the wall. He had never seen anyone else besides Rick. This, wasn’t supposed to happen.

“No, no, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. I want to help you.”

Negan pulled his sheet up to him while wishing it was his buddy Storm. This Gabe guy was nice enough, but he hadn’t really met him before. Still, he said he wanted to help.

“Wick,” he muttered.

“What’s that?”

“Wan Wick.” He may not be his daddy, but Rick was doing well at making him feel comforted. But then he wondered if he would even come since this other man was here. That thought started a fresh round of tears.

“Wick…you mean Rick. Okay. I’ll get him for you.” 

Gabriel turned to the door just as Aaron was making his way in carrying Negan’s lunch. 

“Aaron.” 

“Hey, Michonne sent me to…” He trailed off as he immediately caught sight of Negan from Gabriel’s failure to shield him in time. “What the hell?”

“He’s not hungry right now. Come, let’s leave him be.”

“Did you, really manage to get through to the bastard?” Though Gabriel was leading him out, Aaron couldn’t turn his eyes away from the shivery, teary-eyed man.

“Wan daddy!” he suddenly wailed.

Aaron planted his feet to keep Gabriel from pulling him away.

“What’s going on? He’s acting almost like he’s a…but, he couldn’t be.”

“Aaron, we’ll discuss this later, just…I need you to get Rick okay.”

“Rick.” He pulled his wide and confused eyes away at last. “Does Rick know something about Negan that we don’t? Something he should’ve told us about?”

“I don’t know. All I know is that you need to fetch Rick. Please.”

It took a minute before Aaron pulled out of his gaze and went to follow the order. Gabriel turned to Negan feeling at a loss on how to handle him at the moment. He’d never had much experience with young children, let alone littles, but he was willing to try anything.

He grabbed the chair and scooted it up to the bars.

“Hey, while we wait, how about I, sing you a little hymn.”

Negan quieted a little out of curiosity and rubbed a balled fist in his eye. Gabriel’s smile widened slowly as he took in the man, no child, before him. He really wasn’t anything like the man he’d talked to before. The way he looked, wide-eyed, and lacking a bold posture, made him look quite innocent. As intrigued as he was to get to know this version of Negan, he decided it was best to refrain from questioning him. He was clearly used to Rick and he didn’t want to scare or offend him.

So he sang a quiet gentle song that he remembered from his congregation from long ago. As he sang, Negan calmed further and even scooted closer as he listened. He was starting to think that it might not be so bad that someone new saw him.


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m sowwy…I’m sowwy.”

Rick had to be disappointed that he couldn’t stay big. He had to be. It was the memory of his almost mommy that had him crumbling. 

Rick opened the door to the cell while Gabriel watched from the side. He approached the little slowly and with a gentle smile.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he affirmed. “You didn’t do anything wrong okay.”

It took a minute, but Negan nodded slowly. Rick smiled and turned to the satchel hanging over his shoulder. From within it, he pulled out his little gray buddy. He smiled softly and gladly pulled him into his arms. 

“That’s it. Storm makes everything better doesn’t he.”

Negan nodded in agreement. 

“I know what’ll make it even better.” Rick turned back to his satchel and out of a small compartment he pulled out his pacy. Just the sight of it put Negan even more at ease. He moved closer and Rick happily plopped it into his mouth.

The pacy bobbed in his mouth as he looked at his potential caretaker with shiny eyes. He still wasn’t sure where to place him. Rick didn’t claim to be his new daddy, and Negan was still too afraid to ask. He rubbed his eyes and glanced over at Gabriel. That had his tummy filling up with a mix of emotions that were so strong, he found himself shaking again. His body reacted by wetting his boxers, along with the cot he was still seated upon. His cheeks heated up and a cry erupted from his lungs. 

“Negan, no, what’s the matter?” Rick tried as he moved to comfort him. Negan just pushed his hands away and curled against the wall. He was able to get a snippet of it when Negan shifted and he saw the wetness of the sheets. 

Rick looked at Negan again, or rather the childlike version. Sometimes it was still strange that Negan’s mind could be reduced to that of a small toddler. No age was really definite with his mindset. If anything he was caught between babyhood and a toddler. He was still coming to learn about Negan’s headspace, and he could tell that Negan was currently too young to walk out of here like a toddler. His headspace would most likely have him crawling, and he couldn’t very well crawl past his people to get to the playroom where Rick wanted him now.

“Just hang in there buddy,” he said gently. He walked over to Gabriel who couldn’t keep his worried eyes off the child. 

“What should we do?”

“I could ease him down if I could get him to my house.”

“You’re house?”

Rick dropped his head as a sense of awkwardness rolled through him. He knew this day would come, where someone would discover Negan’s other side. Knowing that much, he hadn’t panicked when Aaron had come up to him telling him that Negan was crying like a child. He trusted Aaron to keep quiet about it, but he wasn’t sure how much that actually mattered anymore.

“Yes. I have a playroom set up for him,” Rick confessed.

“Rick, how long have you known, about him being a little?” His brow was furrowed, but he didn’t harbor a full on look of betrayal.

“Since I went back to the Sanctuary after we imprisoned him. I found things that pointed it out. Negan denied it, but his headspace spilled out anyway.” 

Gabriel worked this new information in his head before addressing Rick again.

“And you didn’t tell anyone?”

“I know. It was just going to be temporary until I could work out what to do.” Rick sighed and looked back at Negan. He had quieted now and his attention was focused on brushing the head of his bear in a way that was more-so meant to soothe himself. “I didn’t like the idea of violating his privacy, despite who he is when he’s not little. I wanted…no, needed Negan to trust me, especially with his little side.”

Gabriel gave a nod in understanding before shifting his gaze to Negan as well.

“Okay well, what’s the plan for now?”

In truth the only thing he could think to do was to calm Negan down enough to bring him out of his headspace for a while, yet that idea didn’t sit well with him. What he really preferred to do was to just comfort him in a way he hadn’t yet. Negan was the kind of man that, from what he could tell, couldn’t embrace his headspace properly, and Rick wished it wasn’t that way for him. Maybe it was the parent in him that had him responding in such a way, but he didn’t care. Negan needed someone and he was the only one really available.

“Find Michonne and tell her what happened. She already knows about Negan,” he quickly added before Gabriel could question it. “She should cover for me. Don’t let anyone come down here unless it’s her.”

“Alright. Anything else I can do, let me know.” Gabriel gave him a pat on the shoulder before departing. 

When he was gone, Rick walked back into the cell. He settled himself on the floor against the wall near the bed and turned his eyes to the little one on the bed. 

“You don’t have to worry so much,” Rick began easily. “It’s just us.”

Negan took notice of this, but he wasn’t sure if it made him feel any better. He looked at Rick with a trembling lower lip.

“Sowwy,” he muttered from behind his pacy.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Come here.”

The open arms were pretty inviting to Negan. It was something his old daddy rarely did. He hadn’t been much for cuddling, but he made up for it in other ways, like reading to him and playing toys with him at time. Even those things were rare when he thought about it. His daddy had gotten close when he thought it was really necessary, and here Rick seemed to be doing the same. Rick appeared to really want to hold him close, and it was the first time he appeared to want to do so. 

Negan wanted to hold onto a bit of stubbornness and refuse, but he cracked and rolled off the bed as he found himself tearing up again. In seconds he was crashing into Rick’s chest, sobbing. Rick wrapped his arms around him and lightly patted his back.

“Just take it easy Negan. Everything’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna see to it.”

Negan sucked on his pacy lazily as he took comfort in the warm chest which seemed just slightly small in comparison to his own. But that didn’t really bother him. This was nice. It felt, new and…like something he was needing all along. Rick turned his patting into circular rubs that had Negan melting in his grasp. And now that Rick was being so comforting, Negan’s thoughts shifted yet again to the role the man was playing in his life. Could he be his daddy? He had to know.

With a worried sniffle, he opened his mouth, letting the pacy roll onto Rick’s arm.

“Aw you…aw…you my daddy now?” came his quiet and fearful, yet curious tone of voice.

Rick froze and that in turn made Negan duck further into his chest with embarrassment for asking. 

“I…I hadn’t thought of it much.” 

His stomach twisted up nervously at the idea of being Negan’s dad. Negan. The man that had destroyed him and his people for quite a while. Sometimes when he thought of the loved ones he’d lost because of him, Negan’s grinning face sprung to mind. Even after he had learned his secret, he’d had a few instances where he felt he was still in Negan’s iron grip even though the power of the Saviors was over. But when he looked down at the man now, dark eyes now soft and wet with longing, he realized Negan was the one needing someone to hold onto. Maybe if he’d had it for a long time, he would have never become that bloodthirsty psychopath. Maybe he would’ve been better. Maybe, he still had a chance of being better because he was a part of his life now. But could he really be a good daddy to him?

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I’d be a good daddy,” Rick continued. “To you I mean.”

Negan deflated a bit against him, and Rick actually felt his heart twist from his disappointment.

“Your old daddy was a good one, right?”

The little one sniffled then gave a slow nod into his chest.

“I’d need to be as good as him but, if you want me to, I...”

“Bet-tow.”

“What?”

Negan raised his face and Rick was a little taken aback by the seriousness of his expression.

“Bet-tow daddy than my daddy.”

“Better?” Negan nodded. “Are you saying that, I’d be a better daddy than the one you had?”

The fact that he nodded eagerly made Rick wonder just how good Negan’s daddy had been to him. He wasn’t even sure who had fulfilled that role for him at the Sanctuary, but if he had to guess Rick thought it might be his right-hand man Simon. It was a curious idea considering the fact that he could not for the life of him picture Simon being any kind of loving parent. If he wasn’t always good, then he really hadn’t been getting the best for his headspace. The best was what he was able to offer now, even though it wasn’t much.

Rick swallowed as his imagination attempted to summon questions and presumptions about how well Simon, if it was Simon, had treated him. Had Negan ever been abused or neglected? Negan did have the job of being a leader, so maybe he couldn’t be coddled as much because of that major responsibility. The want in the kid’s eyes appeared to say that something was missing out of that relationship, and Negan seemed to have found it in him. But was he right.

“Negan—”

He was interrupted at the sound of the door opening. Negan gasped and squeezed him tightly, prompting Rick to pat and soothe him. It turned out to be Michonne and with a book in hand. She looked at Negan with a very wary expression. Despite knowing his story, she had never been around to actually witness it.

“It’s alright. Come on in.”

She entered slowly with her eyes locked on Negan’s partially hidden form. Rick turned to whispering soft words in his ear as he rubbed circles into his back.

“I thought you might like to, read him a book,” she said as she held up what was clearly a children’s book.

“Look at that little guy,” Rick said as he prompted Negan to look with a small shake. “You got a nice book to read, from my dear Michonne. Looks like a good one too.”

In a shy kind of way, Negan peeked around at her out of curiosity. Rick smiled at her and nodded to the chair.

“How about you read it to him.”

It was definitely a request that caught her off guard since she’d never had much of an interaction with the man, particularly not the way he was now. She looked at Negan who shyly buried his face in Rick’s chest again. It had been a hell of a shock when Rick had told her that Negan was in fact a little, and since she never knew him to lie to her she accepted it, just as she had when he had decided to keep Negan alive. Though not thrilled with the idea of a playroom in their home, she had helped her man sneak the necessities inside and set it up. But she had never agreed to help in caring for him. It was too bizarre. And yet she was now pulling up the only chair and opening up the book in her lap.

“Just so you know, I’m not good at doing voices,” she warned.

Rick looked down at Negan who was watching her again.

“I don’t think he’ll mind.”

Michonne shook her head at herself for ending up wrapped up in this affair, but started to read anyways. Negan raised his head up to listen better. The concern of being interrupted by someone he never really saw was decreasing rapidly from the interesting tale of a boy and his dog.


	4. Chapter 4

The next time Negan saw Aaron his stomach churned sickeningly since he was aware that the man had caught him. Gabriel finding out was something he found he could deal with, but Aaron felt like another matter as the look on his face was not quite readable. He was sure Aaron might have volunteered to bring him his lunch, just so he could confront him about what he’d seen. Well he was going to be disappointed.

“Drew the short straw?” Negan joked as he nodded at the tray in his hand.

“Maybe,” he said curtly. The way Aaron rolled his eyes over him made Negan quite uncomfortable. It was clear he was looking for signs of his headspace; proof that he had really seen it. If Rick had confirmed it, Aaron wouldn’t need to look for proof. 

He set the tray down at the cell’s gap near the floor. When he raised himself up, he still harbored that same unreadable gaze, making it impossible for Negan to get a read on what he was thinking.

“Rick the prick tell you anything…interesting?” he prodded carefully.

“Like what?” he answered flatly.

“Like anything.”

If Rick had broken his promise, he wasn’t sure what he’d do. In truth he couldn’t do much since he was still living as a prisoner afterall. Aaron just raised a brow and offered the tiniest smirk.

“Rick hasn’t said anything,” he confirmed. “I’m not sure I’d need him to because I know what I saw.”

Negan felt just the slightest bit nauseous, but kept up a cool expression.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Fine. Hey, let me know if you’d like your juice in a bottle.”

He hoped Aaron didn’t catch the sudden tremor in his body, but it seemed clear that he had. The door opened and Rick walked in, which to Negan was both a relieving as well as annoying sight.

“Rick,” Aaron greeted with what seemed like a forced air of politeness.

“Aaron. Could you excuse us for a moment?”

“Gladly.”

He stalked out of the room without another look back. Negan soured even more now that he was gone.

“Bastard,” he growled.

“Something happen between you too?” Rick asked.

“He fucking knows,” he confessed with a dropped head. “He saw.” He didn’t have to explain as Rick understood what he was talking about.

“He won’t tell anyone. I’ve already talked to him.”

“Maybe he won’t, but the son of a bitch has a reason to come down here and harass me about it.”

“Aaron is very tolerant of littles,” Rick declared in such a serious tone that Negan felt he could believe him. “It’s just the fact that it’s you. Someone who killed those close to him.”

“Of course it is.”

Rick grabbed the chair and pulled himself up to the bars.

“We need to talk about that.”

“I don’t think we do.”

“I disagree,” Rick countered. “Aside from me and Michonne, Gabriel and Aaron know, and that’s all. But for your sake, I really do believe it’s in your best interest if I spread the word. That way, when you slip, it won’t turn heads when I bring you to the playroom.”

“Negan turned narrow eyes his way as he stiffened against the wall on his cot with his arms folded.

“How about fuck that shit,” he growled harshly. “I’m practically invisible down here in this cell. They know what I am they’ll…”

“They’ll what? If I have guards posted, they won’t harass you about it. But for the most part my people are understanding. I don’t expect them to be cruel if you fall into your headspace. No one is out to hurt a child.” When Negan said nothing, Rick observed him closer. “Is this really about getting harassed, or a fear that they won’t look at you the same?” 

Negan shifting pretty much told him he was on to something. 

“It’s not worth holding onto a reputation that strikes fear and pain in others. Now is the time to change.”

“I got by in this world by establishing who I am today,” Negan started slowly. “People looked up to me. They respected me.”

“No, they feared you,” Rick challenged. “And in case you haven’t noticed, none of your people are here. And in defense of littles, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve told you this before. A person still garners respect no matter how young their headspace may be. I don’t know what it’s gonna take for you to see that. I don’t even know how hard you might have had it as a little, but I hope to change that.”

Negan jerked at the idea of the conversation going in a direction he didn’t want to face. Already his cheeks were heating up in anticipation. 

“I think it would be less stressful on you if I went ahead and became—”

“Hold it right there asshole,” Negan growled. “I know what you’re gonna say, and let me clear the air right fucking now. Doesn’t matter what shit comes out of my mouth when I’m, in my headspace. I don’t need any kind of extended family. Simon was good enough for me, and that’s how it’ll stay.”

“What happened to Simon, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Negan stiffened even more, but his expression showed regret.

“I killed him.” Silence hung in the air afterwards and Negan wished Rick would fill it, but he continued. “I got a tip off he was gonna betray me and ruin my fight against you.”

“I’m, sorry.”

“Hm, I’m the one that’s sorry. Bastard wasn’t a great daddy, but he was all I had. The only one I trusted with myself.”

A twist in his heart threatened to send him over the edge, but he held firm. He wouldn’t breakdown the way he had in front of Gabe in front of Rick. It would only fuel the man more on the idea that he needed a replacement. Like he needed that extra bit of attention and comfort to satisfy his little side. He couldn’t be that weak.

“Well, I hope you can trust me enough Negan, one day” Rick said quietly after a moment. “I really do want to help you, and I think it starts by extending what we have so you can get more help. I still have my own child to look after. Judith. I’ve had Carol taking care of her for a while, but she’s going to have to come home.”

“So take care of her and leave me out of it,” Negan muttered.

“I want to take care of you both.” He leaned back and cast his gaze up to the ceiling. “You’re in a basement, and the rest of this house isn’t really being used. I think it could be turned into a little space just for you.

That way it’ll be a lot closer than my house.”

“Whatever floats your boat prick.”

“But the offer still stands. I’d like to help you Negan, by becoming your daddy.” Negan started to protest, but Rick raised a hand. “Just, give it some thought.”

He stood then and walked out of the cell, leaving Negan to think it over. Well, he didn’t really want to think it over, yet his mind entertained the possibility of Rick Grimes, his old enemy, being his new daddy. The idea had him chuckling lightly at the strange turn of events. Then the smile fell as he really started thinking it over.

When it really came down to it, he had no one here except Rick. The others really wanted nothing to do with him. Well there was Gabriel who was insisting that he wanted to help, so he supposed he had two. But Rick was the one who knew what he was from the beginning and didn’t judge. He jumped right into seeing that he was taken care of, while both in a younger state as well as in his older state of mind. The man was good and there was no denying that, and he was proving that even more by offering to be a parent.

He huffed at the thought, still not really liking it, but he understood that the little guy had his version of needs, and he wanted a replacement parent. And perhaps, in getting one, his whole psyche could be helped.

“Fuck.” He really didn’t like it, and he couldn’t see himself ever saying yes. 

He glanced at the chair that was empty of the man. A weird little feeling tugged at his heart and threatened to pull him out of his current state of mind. He pushed it away as he considered the other part of Rick’s words; the part about letting others in on what he really was. The idea had his stomach turning uncomfortably, yet at the same time there was just the tiniest bit of relief from the fact that Michonne, Gabriel, and Aaron knew. Some of the weight of harboring a deep secret had lifted from his shoulders, and yet he wanted to cling to the comfort of people seeing him as a force that didn’t happen to have a childlike side to him. But he supposed there was little point in pushing for such an image when he was trapped behind bars. The fact that he had lost the war and was a prisoner already showed them that he wasn’t as powerful or threatening as they thought. So maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe Rick had something when he said there was no point in him holding onto such a reputation. It was over. He didn’t have his Saviors. All he had was Rick and a community of people who looked down on him. There was very little reason to hold onto the man he’d been at the Sanctuary. He understood that, but he wanted to hold on to that massive version of himself. He didn’t care if it was a lie. If the community knew, that would change, even if their view of him had already changed, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. He wasn’t quite sure what he was ready for.

Negan dropped his head back against the wall, hating that he had to contemplate the ideas Rick was throwing at him. Something had to change before he embarrassed himself the way he had when Gabe and Aaron had caught him. And if Rick was really the answer, well, he might actually have to accept it and bite down hard on that new form of reality.


	5. Chapter 5

Negan suckled lazily on his pacy as he laid on a cozy mat on the floor while Rick attended to changing his diaper. He felt quite relaxed as he was cleaned particularly since he kept his attention on Storm who was sitting on the floor next to his crib across from him.

“Almost there,” Rick said as he lifted a leg to sprinkle some powder. After that, he reached for a clean diaper that was ready and waiting next to him. 

Negan turned his head back around as Rick proceeded to position it under him. When he did, Rick briefly caught his eyes and paused. The current soft gaze and the longing expression once again had Rick wondering if it really had been a good idea to commit to being his daddy. He hadn’t straightened it out with him yet. All he’d done was put it on the table. The same went for releasing his secret to the rest of the community. By now he imagined much of it was leaked even if those that had known said nothing. They would have heard Negan’s cries or caught sight of him bringing a toy or book down to the jail that wasn’t as well hidden as he’d thought. And if Negan got too stressed about more people knowing, he needed a daddy to reduce his stress when he slipped; a confirmed daddy.

“There…all done,” Rick said after taping the sides of his new diaper.

Negan gave a very babyish applause and Rick couldn’t help chuckling. A small knock at the doorway alerted Rick to Gabriel who was peeking his head in and smiling.

“Is it okay if I come in?”

“Sure,” Rick assured him after a quick glance down at Negan who had his eyes on Gabriel. He didn’t tense up at his arrival, and that made Rick confident in Negan being able to be comfortable around anyone who knew.

“Pway,” Negan said to Gabe, letting the pacy tumble from his mouth.

Gabriel looked to Rick who patted Negan on the head and helped him sit up.

“I think this little guy is in the mood to play.”

Said little guy confirmed it as he nodded eagerly.

“It’s the only reason I came over here,” Gabriel said kindly.

Negan seemed to beam and led the way by crawling to an area where a preschool train was set up on a simple circular track. He plopped down next to it and moving the train back and forth in one spot while making choo choo noises. Gabe sat across from him and watched before engaging him in simple conversation.

Rick stood watching for a bit, then left them too it. He really felt better about discussing his options with Michonne even though he’d already done so. Like him, she hadn’t been sure if it was the right call.

“If you’re coming to ask me to change his diaper I’ll pass.”

He smiled at his love who was standing near the kitchen with Judith in her arms. Rick crossed over to her and planted a quick kiss on her lips.

“No, I’d never ask you to do anything like that.”

“Time to think about potty training him.”

“Yeah,” he said offhandedly as his thoughts went back to the main concern plaguing his mind. 

Michonne frowned at him and set Judith down before running a hand on his.

“You still worried about taking that step aren’t you.”

“It’s a big first step. Becoming Negan’s dad.” He cast his gaze at Judith who was making her way to a stuffed bunny in the living room. “I’m already a father to her. Is it fair of me to divide fatherhood between Judith and a man who almost brought us down? If I don’t do it, I’ll have to ask others to look after him.”

“Gabriel wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t mind either,” Michonne said with a shrug. She looked at him closer while giving off a knowing smile. “But I know you don’t like the idea of putting the responsibility on others.”

“It was my choice to spare Negan. For everything Negan does, I’m responsible. No one else asked to bring him to Alexandria.”

“That’s true, but you couldn’t account for a side of him you didn’t know about at the time. Everyone does their part in watching over Negan when they have to. They might not like it, but no one’s killed him yet.”

“And no one will.” He leaned against the island of the kitchen as he dropped his head. “I do feel like he’s come to really trust me, and I’d hate to make him feel like I’m rejecting him by pushing him off on someone else. I think he’s had it rough while in his headspace with whichever daddy he had. Negan needs to heal and work his way to becoming better.”

He turned to Judith but noticed she was now gone. 

“Where’d she go?” Curious, Rick made his way back to the playroom to see if she had entered. Michonne trailed behind him.

Sure enough Judith had made her way in, and was standing not too far from Negan with her bunny held close to her as she eyed the man curiously. Gabe hadn’t made a move and was simply observing to see what Negan would do. Said person was looking back at Judith curiously. Rick started to approach, thinking her presence might have snapped Negan out of his headspace. He knew it could happen to some littles if they weren’t comfortable being around actual children.

Gabe held up his hand to pause Rick, and it was just in time as Negan pulled his lips into a grin and pointed at her toy.

“Bunny.”

Judith giggled and nodded.

“My bunny.”

Negan got to his hands and knees and crawled over to the crib to fetch his bear. He showed it off to her with a big smile.

“Stowm,” he introduced.

She smiled back at him and settled down by Gabe, seemingly intent on joining their play with the toy train. Rick relaxed and pulled back into the doorway. 

“Think he’ll be upset about Judith seeing him?” Michonne asked.

“Something tells me he’ll be fine with it,” Rick replied as he watched Negan and Judith happily playing together.

Sometime later Negan was laying across Rick’s lap while he sat propped up against the headboard of the bed with a large book in his hands. The book was mainly a children’s picture book depicting animals commonly seen at the zoo. Negan for the most part was greatly intrigued with it as he happily informed Rick what the different animals were whenever he pointed to one. 

“What’s that one,” Rick questioned as he pointed to the cartoonish orange striped cat.

“Ti-gow,”

“That’s right. That’s your favorite one right?”

Negan nodded eagerly. Rick chuckled softly and turned the page.

“How about that one?” 

Negan laughed at the rotund, gray animal with the lengthy trunk and big floppy ears. He always found that animal particularly funny.

“Elfant.”

“Close enough,” Rick joked. “What do you think of this one here?” 

Rick pointed his attention to the animal across the page, but Negan’s attention was on him instead. With a frown, Rick met his gaze.

“Something wrong?”

“Daddy?” he asked quietly. His eyes were asking clearly, and now it was on Rick to truly confirm it. 

He swallowed thickly, then softly ran his fingers through his hair. 

“Is that what you want Negan? You want me to be your daddy?”

In a way it was almost like he was asking both of his headspaces at the same time. But right now, the smaller version of the man was here, and he was taking a moment to truly consider the question. There was no one else, and so far the man had really been there and in a way that his first daddy had never been. So, did he want Rick to be his daddy despite how confusing their relationship was when he was big?

Slowly he gave a nod and grinned.

“Daddy.”

Rick smiled back at him and planted a light kiss on his forehead. 

“Alright, from this point on, I’ll be your daddy.”

Negan cozied up to him feeling much more relaxed now. In his arms was Judith’s bunny. She had happily allowed him to play with it for a while. But Storm was also nearby because this didn’t mean he had given up his old bear. It only meant that he was gaining a bigger family, particularly since Gabe and Michonne had come on board. And now that Rick had agreed to be his new daddy, Negan felt his new family was just right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for enjoying.


End file.
